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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If your DS came home from his travel soccer practice complaining that all his teammates were telling him he sucked, what advice would you give him?  He’s 11.

It honestly sounded harmless, and we told him to toughen up. But I’m torn on telling the coach to watch out as my DS said the coach wasn’t around when this was happening. My husband thought I was crazy.

Is this just to be expected as he gets older and things become more compatible?  I don’t want to be that mom, but part of me thinks the coach needs to watch out for this. [/quote]

If this is the first time then it may well be nothing and never happen again.  And I would trust your husband's opinion - after all he was a boy once himself so he knows how these things work.

It is possible it is not nothing, in which case

-  you might consider telling the coach, but bear in mind adult intervention in bullying often just makes thing worse.  How is your coach likely to respond?  If you don't trust him to both take this seriously and respond with subtlety probably better not to tell him.

-  the best thing you can do is work with your son (better if your husband does this) on how to deal with such situations.

1.  You (or better - your husband) can help your son figure out how to defuse such a situation in future.  Young men will respond positively to frank acceptance of responsibility combined with humor.  If your son responds in that (mature) way he will be able to end the behavior himself, which is the best solution for all.

2.  A serious situation is unlikely to have arisen just because your son actually sucks (in fact he may not suck at all), but is likely to have much more to do with the fact that he has annoyed at least several of the other boys.  This is not unusual - many boys aren't very good at learning social behaviors and many of them frequently behave in ways which annoy their peers without realizing it.  You may have observed such behaviors yourself in which case you (again better - your husband) can help correct them without any reference to this incident.[/quote]

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