Reply to DE for 3rd child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, I would. I have no hangups about donor eggs though.

I have a friend who has one adopted child, two DE children and a surprise 4th OE child. All of them are equally her children and they are a lovely family. I think knowing her has really influenced my thinking about DE. There are many ways to make a family. If you want a third, go for it. [/quote]

Do you not see how the dynamic OP is contemplating (one man “out” with a big age gap between the OE pair and last DE kid) is different from your friends family? The hang up isn’t just about DE, it’s about this particular family. Not saying she shouldn’t do it, just that she’s smart to think through all of the future complications she’s likely going to face.[/quote]

Meh. I don’t see that second hangup as any different than a bonus baby that was conceived the traditional way. Big kids and a baby is magical. It’s very different from having three close in age, but that doesn’t make it bad. [/quote]

the kid out is really the kid in - we have a 7 year difference from our older two to our youngest which was born via a surro (they older ones were not). The youngest one will be special and dfiferent for being youngest if anything. A third chilc much younger than the second is a gift - you have time to appreciate it all in a way you can't when kids are close in age. Our third is legit the highlight of our life during covid. Her older teen brothers want nothing to do with us. Meanwhile she cooks and bakes and reads with us all the time. I really could not have imgined life without her - and we had to go through a LOT Of work to bring her to our family. Only your heart knows if you really want a third - and ifyou do - go for the DR if that is the only way. Once they child is born, or in reality, once you are pregnant, it really isn't going to make much of a difference except on paperwork and the occasional back story to the dr.[/quote]

Wow! Thank you for sharing your experience. It really helps to hear from someone with a similar age gap. I appreciate all of the helpful replies! [/quote]

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