Reply to Agree or disagree: most people only care about themselves, family, and friends

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[quote=Anonymous]I think it's good to care about yourself and put yourself first (who else will?), but that we live in a culture that goes about this wrong.

Most people are insecure and feel shame all the time. So "caring about themselves" often takes the form of doing things to suppress their insecurities and avoid shame. Often they do this by shifting shame onto others via judgment, passive aggression, condescension, and failure to find empathy. They do all of this unknowingly, which then causes their children and other loved ones to feel insecure and ashamed. It ripples out on everyone.

Caring about other people requires you to start by genuinely loving and caring about yourself. You have to work through your shame and confront your insecurity and finally recognize that you are a worthwhile human deserving of love and acceptance. Then you can offer that to others, especially your children. If you instill these values in children, they grow up to be adults who feel secure in their place in the world and aware of their inherent worth, and that makes it easier for them to care about others. And so on.

Most people are trapped in the insecurity/shame cycle though. They think they are caring for others but they are mostly just running from their own demons.[/quote]

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