Reply to If you have a spouse with an incurable and serious or terminal illness

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[quote=Anonymous]My uncle had a brain tumor after 49 years of marriage. At first he and my aunt called / told everyone when he was diagnosed that he had about 6 months to live. Then they said his surgery was successful to a degree and he had much more time than they’d hoped. I think a lot of that was because they (or at least he) didn’t want his last good months to be about dying. He was deeply loved - my cousin (his nephew) asked him to be the toast master at their wedding. He attended my sister’s baby shower. His daughter read his speech at the wedding 5 months after his diagnosis - when he was too ill to attend - and it was clear he’d written it when lucid but knew his time was short. He met my sister’s baby a few days before he died. He worked as long as he could (he was 71 and still loving his job) and showered family with love. He almost declined some get togehter because he was afraid people would make a fuss about him. I’m so sorry Op and I haven’t been through it, but thinking about what you want others to know or not know might be worthwhile - I think my aunt and uncle shared as a first response and then tried to back off a bit. [/quote]

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