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Reply to "My mom constantly complains!"
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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you're getting a lot of good advice about redirecting and detaching from your mom. At one point I told my mom flat out that I didn't want to hear her complain about my dad anymore. She got really mad at me. But she did stop. No guarantee your mom would stop complaining so maybe redirecting is the best way. Anyway, whichever way you do it, the point is for you to stop engaging and stop trying fix her or get her to see your point of view. It will be hard but it will give you space for yourself that you really need. Once you have that space it will be easier for you to feel compassion for your mom. But you can't do it while you feel responsible for her happiness. Like I often say, it's not hard for us to feel compassion for the anxious old lady who lives down the street because she doesn't control our lives and her feelings don't threaten us. If you can get yourself to the point where you feel separate enough from your mom so that she is in effect like the little old lady down the street, your relationship with her will be better. Good luck with this. I know how hard it is and I wish you success in coping with it![/quote]
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