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Reply to "If you don’t have that best friend mother-daughter relationship, how come?"
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[quote=Anonymous]My mom had kids very young and experienced a lot of trauma in her own upbringing. She's gone to therapy very occasionally over the years but I think has a lot of unprocessed trauma and is very emotionally insecure. I am empathetic about the difficulties she has had in her life, but also recognize that because she does not deal with them, she will never be a part of my support system. She is unable to see me as a person independent from her own feelings about herself (constantly looking for me to validate her own life by making the same choices and then feeling similarly miserable about them, an awful game that I have finally figured out how to identify and not get drawn into). I thought I'd dealt with my disappointment over not having a mom I could really talk to or feel loved/validated by, and then I had kids and it all came back because I have worked so hard to be the mom to my kids that I never had. There's something wonderful about that but also terrible and sad. I try to focus on my relationship with my kids and not feel hurt by what I've missed out on with my mom.[/quote]
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