Reply to I don't want anyone else to have him.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are a few things I did when I was in this situation (and I am SO GLAD I got out; you will be too):

I thought about what I'd tell a friend of mine if she were dating a person who treated her so terribly, and how I'd hate it for her - and also pity her after awhile and feel a little contemptuous.

I envisioned myself 10 or 20 years down the road still being in limbo with this jerk and what I'd have missed in my life during that time.

When I left, I completely ghosted him. Cut him off entirely and if friends brought him up I literally did not even respond to questions or comments about him. It was the only way for me to do it and not give in and go back to him. Some people will say that was immature but it wasn't like there was a lot of maturity on either side of that relationship anyway. It was a viable solution to a bad situation.

And, OP, after getting out and hearing that he was with someone else, and after some time had passed, I also realized that he wasn't the terrible person I had been making him out to be. Some of my view of him had to do with my own self-pity, which is obviously not a great way to look at the world or to be. But most of it was we were just a bad fit. For whatever reason we brought out a lot of each other's most annoying and not-great aspects. I still don't have any urge to talk with him ever again, but I realized neither of us were actually bad people even though we both did some bad, stupid, and occasionally downright cruel things over the course of our relationship. We just weren't right together.

And it does fade. And you will find someone you actually have FUN with, who makes you happy. And it's amazing. You can do it. Please do it![/quote]

How long were you with this guy?[/quote]

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