Reply to How to tell my friend grappling with infertility that I’m pregnant?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My best friend used the subject “News”. We were in pretty much the same situation.

The email itself says something along the lines of “Larla, I want to let you know that I am pregnant and due in January. If do you want to talk I’m around, and if you don’t I’m still around.”

Don’t go on about how mentally fragile she must be, or about how bad you feel about it. Just tell her simply over email and give her time to process. Assume that you are keeping your date next week, but don’t be offended if she cancels and don’t ask why. When you see her, let her be the one to bring up the pregnancy. And it would be kind if you didn’t wear something skin tight.

Best of luck to both of you. Congratulations on your pregnancy, and on being a good friend.[/quote]

As someone who dealt with infertility myself, I second this as great advice. [/quote]

Thanks. So, "I am pregnant and due in January. I'm here for you!"

I am nervous about writing this email, even though it's 20 words or less![/quote]

Too curt. “I am pregnant and due in January. I’m not going to be a chatterbox about it in person or on social media, but I wanted to tell you in case it gets around. We love you guys and I’m here for whatever.”[/quote]

I'm the PP with the subject "News" and I love this. It's simple, warm, and kind. Hearing (as I did from other pregnant people) "I know this must be hard for you" grated on me a lot, because it seemed so pitying and made me look pathetic -- but someone ACTING like they knew it was hard and therefore weren't dwelling on the subject was just an act of love that I deeply appreciated.

And I know that someone wanted to inject warmth with "Janie and Peter are excited about getting a baby sister" but I would have found that to be pouring salt into a wound. Like, thanks for rubbing in that this is your THIRD.

I'm not saying it's right or fair for the infertile person to feel like that, but OP is obviously more concerned with kindness and caring than with what's fair or right.  [/quote]

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