Reply to Do you think parents generally have a favorite kid?

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[quote=Anonymous]My parents had a clear favorite- my younger sister. From the time she was born, it was all about her. She was so adorable that strangers would stop and tell us what a beautiful baby she was. She was also gregarious and social. I wasn't ugly and was generally thought attractive but I don't remember them ever saying I looked nice. I tried SO hard to be liked. They also clearly thought she was a genius (except I'm the one who made National Merit and got into good colleges). Fast forward to our 30s, my sister is an obese drug addict who has cut my parents out of her life. They fought with her from age 12 onwards. My parents' marriage barely survived. I have a lovely life with lovely grandchildren and husband who helps my parents constantly. When my kids were babies, my parents used to talk about how they did things like my sister or how they were so cute like my sister and that sent me into counseling again. I honestly think my parents don't remember my first words or things I did as a baby. There aren't any stories of me.

It came out in counseling that I really just wanted someone to tell me I was the favorite (not that this is right either). My parents still won't say I'm the favorite (even after they haven't seen my sister for years and she cusses them out) and it stings. I spent a long time trying to please my parents and to make a life they wanted me to have. I'm still bitter but have come to a lot of peace with it all. Spent lots of money on parenting children books and classes- Siblings without Rivalry is a good book.

With my own kids it's been easier to love them equally since they are opposite sexes and very different. I don't think I love either one more than the other. [/quote]

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