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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My son did the same. He has gender identity issues.  I hate having my things taken so I've helped him buy his own, which I, of course, pay for since he didn't have his own money.  He has a therapist but I don't know if they discuss this.  Also, he belongs to LGBTQ clubs in school.  I am not a therapist and I am his mom.  I'm here to talk, but more than likely, he's going to figure things out through a combination of experience, therapy, talking with his parents, talking with friends, dating, etc.

This really isn't an issue for punishment.  I never punished my daughter for "borrowing" my jewelry, so I wasn't going to punish my son for "borrowing" my undergarments.  If the only way that he can get them is to take them from you, then fix that.  Let him explore and figure out who he is.  You aren't going to punish away his sexual identity.

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He refuses to engage in discussions when asked about why he takes the stuff (he will get embarrassed and run to his room to hide), and therapy isn't a viable option right now. (He was seeing a therapist for ADHD issues, but we had to stop with teletherapy because he refused to talk, and would spend his time playing online video games on other web screens.) But it seems either he's masturbating or wearing the clothes. If the former, I guess that's typical for a boy his age, but does he really need my underwear to do it? If the latter, there are other issues at play, and I don't want to punish him for it -- I just want him to leave my stuff alone. So I guess the answer is to buy him his own bras and underwear so he can do whatever it is he is doing?[/quote]

New poster.

OP, it sounds like you could use much more substantial help than we strangers on this forum can give you. Try to locate someone professional for YOU to talk to, via telehealth, so you can have someone help you with scripting out your reactions, coming up with the right questions to ask him and the right way to ask them, and separating the issues of possible gender identity questions (understandable, not to be punished) and theft (not fine, ever). I think you really would benefit from talking to therapist yourself to get ideas on how to proceed with him. The issue would be getting an appointment for yourself ASAP since you do need to deal with the theft aspect of this sooner rather than later.

Telehealth therapy could still work for him IF you can find a tech way to block all other games he can access at the same time. But it's tough for a kid, and a therapist for ADHD issues may not be at all the right one for other issues. Maybe therapists are back to one on one sessions in person if masked. Be aware, too -- I hesitate to type it as it will get me flamed, but -- some therapists for teens right now do lean heavily toward diagnosing gender dysphoria pretty readily. It's a real thing but it's also something that some therapists are very quick to assume is the answer. Sometimes it absolutely is. Sometimes it isn't .Whatever is going on, you and we aren't qualified to parse what's really happening.  [/quote]

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