Reply to Cheating ex says he chooses not to contact me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Move on, op.   Three years long distance is too long.   Three years dating without getting engaged is too long, assuming you’re past college age.   The relationship was over a while ago.   Stick a fork in it, it’s done.  [/quote]

That is what kills me and why I feel to blame for it.[/quote]

No women is responsible for another man's sexual behavior.  Whatever problems you and he might have had, there were a thousand other ways for him to handle his feelings -- none of which involve cheating.

There is no coming back from cheating in a relationship with no children yet.  The appropriate, healthy thing is for you to block him from all contact without any further explanation.  Move on with your life.  Get some therapy to take responsibility for your own behavior -- like getting into a long term relationship which doesn't allow for good relationship development.  Why did you do that?  Do you really think there are no compatible men where you live?

If you want a child, your time is running out biologically.  But the answer to that problem isn't to partner up long term with someone who has demonstrated bad traits incompatible with being a good husband and father.  He is literally filling the space and time that someone more appropriate could fill.  Every minute you spend on him -- thinking about him, interacting with him -- is time you are wasting in creating the life you want and deserve.

Block him.  Move on.  Get therapy.  Work on getting your life into a position where you can either support kids on your own, freeze eggs, explore adoption or explore child-bearing alternatives like being a godparent or aunt or involved in mentoring kids, etc.

He is what is known in "economics" as a sunk cost.  Money/time you have already spent without getting the outcome you want.  Our human tendancy is to keep throwing money/time after sunk costs in the hope of finally achieving the outcome we want.  BUT, there's a reason why the phrase "don't throw good money after bad" is so popular.  The same applies here.  Don't continue to waste your time and effort and emotions on this person.  [/quote]

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