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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

My biggest issue is finding a satisfying balance of food that will keep me in a calorie deficit whilst avoiding evening binging. Too much restricting in the day has my lizard brain going crazy for the typical unholy trinity: processed fat, sugar and salt.  I do believe, (in theory, at least) in limiting access to junk foods by not having them in the house; but, still manage to make poor nighttime choices- globs of mayonnaise on thick wedges of cheddar cheese, multiple slices of Dave’s bread thickly coated with butter, cinnamon and sugar, etc. I try distractions- hot showers, internet, meditation and even Xanax. Every evening is basically tossing, turning and mental combat- anything to avoid going downstairs and carb partying. I fantasize about being the sort of person for whom food is an afterthought, who eats two slices of pizza and is perfectly satisfied.

I have been doing slightly better portioning out fattening, satisfying things: 12 peanut M&Ms as dessert, 10 potato chips to accompany a tuna sandwich with negligible mayo (there’s that mayonnaise again.) I went from my “intuitive eating” (turns out my intuition is an untrustworthy gobbler) no scales, all-time high weight of 214 in March to 186 currently, by basically not eating anything but fruit and vegetables until a protein-heavy dinner.  I feel slightly smug after quitting all drive-thru food; despite always trying to choose a grilled chicken sandwich or the smallest no-cheese burger, I think their posted calorie counts are big fat lies. I exercise by doing a beginner’s 30 minute low-impact cardio on Youtube, which does help lift my spirits. I am pleased with my progress but this doesn’t feel sustainable. They say willpower is a finite source and I am really starting to lose my wherewithal to continue. If I eat unsweetened oatmeal and fruit or eggs in the morning, it just seems to spark the desire to eat more- looking forward to snacks and lunch, etc.  I am 58 and 5’7” and there is a sense of futility- so much work to go from morbidly obese to plain old obese. I need to accept attaining an actual healthy BMI will take a LOT of time and work and just to focus on daily goals. [/quote]

Whoa!  Give yourself some credit. At 186 and 5’7” I believe you are no longer obese but at the upper end of overweight. I know you want to be a healthy weight but that is a huge accomplishment. And you’ve lost it relatively quickly. You should be very proud of yourself. [/quote]

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