Reply to Previous friend is causing me a ton of anxiety

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had a toxic person in my life so I did a slow fade.

Pretend to be busy. Don't dump her abruptly, and if there's a mutual friend only say good things about her if her name comes up. And yes mention how busy you've been.

If she's that bad OP you may have to dump a few mutual friends so she doesn't know your business. Make your social media bland, or get off of it. Worse case do what my relative did. Start a new account and add only select friends.

Similar to a bad ex. Get them out of your life, not much they can do if you're proactive. Wouldn't hurt to get another circle of friends.[/quote]

This is good advice.

Although I'll say I had a similar person in my life and tried to do a slow fade, but the person kept pushing to ask why we weren't as close anymore, obsessing over me and my husbands social media, and grilling mutual friends (and sometimes just my friends, not hers.). I had to actually spell out the boundary violation for her and she completely flipped her shit and said a lot of really crazy stuff. Like the OP, I was worried that she was going to try to somehow attack me by trash talking. Like others have said, DO NOTHING. don't talk about her to anyone. The advice about dropping mutual friends is interesting -- i found myself distancing myself from other people in her orbit instinctively.

Eventually time will go by, and you'll forget about it.

As others have said, this is a borderline personality trait. Don't feel bad -- these people can be smart and charming and seem like good friends at first![/quote]

Sorry you are going through this, OP.  People like this are so toxic, and will stop at nothing - they will mob whomever they think made them look bad (not hard to do, they do it to themselves) and make up lies, if they have to - nothing is ever their fault, a lot of finger pointing (literally "SHE did this or that" - fill in bizarre accusation here - usually something you did in response to their provocation/antagonization/ridiculousness, they don't like when you defend yourself, and you are right, that's for sure) - it is bizarre behavior, and so toxic.  Who has time for all that gaslighting, accusations, lies and BS?

People who have seen this know that the issue is not you, OP. Normal, healthy people, without serious issues, don't try to cause other people grief. Just stay away. [/quote]

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