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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was a donor some years ago. I would advise against it. The cases where the dad has later been on the hook to support the kid are always when he had some form of existing relationship with the mom. I would definitely consult an attorney.

[b]While her request is flattering, there are plenty of high quality donors out there for her to use[/b].[/quote]

I agree.  I see no reason for someone to go with a friend for a donor. Especially one who obviously has no interest in forming any type of parental relationship. That is just going to be confusing for the kid. [/quote]

Why would it be more confusing for the child than an anonymous donor? In fact, most of the research out there shows that some level of openness with the donor is better for the child’s psychology and self-identity than fully anonymous donation.[/quote]

I am reading studies on that. I think the confusion could well be, if we were to connect as his biological father, but I was taking no responsibility for supporting him or assuming a father relationship, he/she could be confused and feel devalued. [/quote]

He will not be the father, he will be the donor. That is the difference. The children will have two loving parents and know that a “helper” allowed them to be born. If the donor was anonymous they would not know anything about 50% of their genetics until age 18 or ever. They may also find they have 50+ half siblings, which happens too often. With a known donor, they will always know their genetic origins and there’s no chance of discovering dozens of siblings, since the mothers know this man well.

The research all shows that donor conceived children who know they are donor conceived from a young age and are taught about it openly thrive just as well as conventionally conceived children; the issue arises when it’s kept secret and they find out well into adulthood. An increasing amount of research also shows that open and semi-open donations lead to better psychological benefits than anonymous donation — although I think it’s still an under researched area.

There are TONS of resources here: https://www.wearedonorconceived.com/resources/[/quote]

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