Reply to DH says really mean things to me sometimes....how would you react?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]sounds like he is nitpicking at everything about you and that would get very old.  Have you told him in the past how his comments come across as mean, but he continues to do it?  I don't blame you OP and wouldn't be able to deal with that forever myself. [/quote]
+1  Was he always like this? If not, sounds like there might be an underlying issue.  When I am unhappy with DH  I find myself nitpicking him and find everything he does and says annoying.[/quote]

No. Recently diagnosed with depression, anxiety, dependent and avoidant personality disorder. [/quote]

If this is a recent change and he's got a dx, is he getting treatment?  I think some leeway can be given for people who have mental illness issues being exacerbated by the stress/anxiety of the pandemic.  I'd see if therapy and/or drugs can help but make sure he knows that this is not something you're willing to just have keep happening.  (I'm the "don't treat your spouse as a punching bag PP.)[/quote]

No, it’s not a recent change. I would say he wasn’t like this when we were dating/engaged otherwise I wouldn’t have married him.

After I told him that I was leaving, thennnnn he started seeking help (although begging and pleading him to for years before, couples counseling where it treated like it didn’t really mattered, defensiveness, etc). I just feel like some of these are beyond treatment- like “relationships for dummies” and “what not to say to your wife”

I’m pretty set on leaving. He’s begging me to stay. I don’t know whether I could repair a relationship with some of these comments that have been made.[b] I do feel like I’m a sensitive person in general, and moreso recently because I’m always waiting for the next blow.[/b] [/quote]
my sister lived through this kind of marriage... just waiting for the next blow... her heart would start to race... she ended up with full fledged anxiety attack. She's now on meds for her anxiety.

She had threatened divorce a few times. Each time, her husband would get better for a bit, then the cycle would continue. Kids are now out of the house, and apparently he's gotten a lot better, so her stress level has gone down.

This impacted her kids, too. They both, at one time, had to get therapy.

Your kids are young. Do what you have to do to make sure they are protected, as well, and you need to also take care of yourself, especially for your kids.[/quote]

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