Reply to Armchair shrinks: Why does my MIL never, ever call us?

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Reply to "Armchair shrinks: Why does my MIL never, ever call us?"

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[quote=Anonymous]If you've never had a moment of shyness, if you've never worried that you might be intruding -- it's really hard to think of what I could say that would lead you to an AHA moment of understanding. I think you should believe what she says: that she really really really does not want to intrude. She sounds like a lovely woman -- so do her and yourself a favor and just decide that in this particular relationship, you'll do the reaching out.

When I was a kid, my Mom -- WAY too firmly, told me "don't wear out your welcome", when I went to anyone's house.  That's embedded so deeply in me that even now, I can't receive a sincerely meant invitation from someone without hearing that phrase booming in the back of my head.  All of which is to say your MIL seems to be doing her best not to intrude.  Make the effort to initiate things with her so that she can reassure herself that she's not intruding.  And maybe make a point of saying things to her that you might assume she would already know or take for granted: "We love it when you come to stay!"  [/quote]

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