Reply to No acknowledgement for kids’ achievements

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. They don’t have a relationship with my kids even though we live close by. That’s what really hurts. Not interested because they can’t relate. They have a close relationship with the others bc they babysat when we paid for childcare. They don’t like schedules so could never make time to see my kids in between their activities and schoolwork. Pretty soon I stopped inviting them to games and concerts and ceremonies. My kids did work regular jobs too. One time my kid was working in a mall and MIL stops by the store to say I’m only here because I had to drop by the Apple store and then proceeded to talk 15 minutes about how great my kids’ cousin was doing because he could afford to move out after getting a job at a restaurant. MIL has no idea that my kids were doing those jobs at a younger age and one started own business and made enough to pay for a year of college. So it’s not only the obscure accomplishments, but even the regular things like getting a job at 15 or starting a business.[/quote]

It sounds like your kids are college age/adults now?  The ship has sailed for all of this.  You are going to have to allow the natural consequences of this type of behavior work its course and if that means your adult children don't have a bond with their grandparents, then that's how it goes, even if it's sad.  Whether they have a lack of bond because of perceived favoritism, not a lot of time spent with their grandparents when younger etc, there's nothing you can do about it now.  You need to own your decision to use childcare rather than grandparent help, by the way.  It was a decision that made a lot of sense, because your kids and way of life comes first - and many grandparents would have made more of an effort to balance out the time spent with the grandkids they didn't provide childcare for.  If they didn't do that, that's not your fault.[/quote]

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