Reply to WWYD: Grandparents Unhappy in Assisted Living and Want to Move Home

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "WWYD: Grandparents Unhappy in Assisted Living and Want to Move Home"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If dementia is involved, you say, “you can’t move right now.  You house needs to be refinished or whatever. You can move during the pandemic. “. Keep stalling.  Eventually, the dementia will get to a point where they will stop asking.  Don’t say outright “no”, just punt it down the road.  [/quote]

Honestly, this is what I'd do.  I'd keep telling them that you understand and are getting things ready for them.  [/quote]

This is a very good strategy.  Also, google "Banner Alzheimer's Institute" in Phoenix, AZ.  They have some good info online.  One of their guides suggests that if you have to, lie to them.  Obviously, doing so effectively requires that they have a level of cognitive decline that will allow for it.

I'm the son from page 1 who put his father in a memory unit (alzheimer's).  My father would ask about the family car.  Of course, he was asking about the family car owned before I was born.  At first, I would engage him trying to better understand what car he was talking about, why he needed to know, etc.  He would get frustrated and angry because he couldn't convey what he wanted.  After I read Banner's advice, when he would bring up the car, I would tell him that I had it at the mechanic for an oil change and I would park it in the parking lot once it was done.  That would satisfy him and we could have a pleasant visit.

I will tell you that it was hard.  I didn't like lying to him, but I found that it accomplished a greater good.  Good luck.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics