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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dealiing with something similar.  I would not inject a discussion about weight if she’s not already worried about thar.

I would just calmly tell her that [b]three healthy meals a day are non-negotiable, even if she’s not hungry. [/b] Sometimes our body doesn’t send us the right hunger messages but she needs the fuel because she’s growing.  Its okay to be mad at mom/dad but its not okay to use food as an emotional weapon.  Be as mad as you want but you need to eat your lunch.  Calm, non-emotional, non-negotiable.  And make sure neither of the parents use food/meals as an emotional tool...kids pick up on that as a strategy.
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I don't know, if it is indeed about control for her, this sounds like it could backfire big time. In fact, it is kind of using food as an emotional control. Food is tricky because we need it and good nutrition is important, but we have to manage it ourselves. If you make it "non-negotiable" you're kind of setting yourself up for a battle. What are you going to do if she doesn't want breakfast? Hold her at the table staring at it for hours? Tie her down and make her choke it down? You can't do that. I think an overall day by day normal total is fine, but that could be in the form of snacks, no breakfast and a big lunch, etc. Forcing 3 squares sounds kind of outdated and setting yourself up to make food a point of contention. Plenty of healthy people don't eat that way and don't have eating issues. I think the advice to back off and just quietly track what she goes for sounds a lot better for now. [/quote]

I’m pretty sure your advice is fine for kids without eating issues, but runs contrary to the advice for kids with eating issues.  It’s just matter of fact, like going to school, being vaccinated, taking prescription medication, etc.  If you start negotiating about “oh, you can skip breakfast if you have a big lunch” they will just work that and tale advantage.  You don’t make it a point of contention—it’s just a fact of life.  No battles, just calm.  If they skip meals, its the same as them skipping school—you’re not going to physically force them but there is a clear statement that’s unacceptable and you don’t just go on with normal life and outings with friends, etc.    if you had a diabetic kid, you wouldnt let them skip their insulin because they said they didn’t think they need it today.  [/quote]

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