Reply to Help breaking the news to my best friend who is TTC

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[quote=Anonymous]OP - I have been on both sides of this.  I totally can feel for both sides.
Before I go into this, I suggest you post this also on the TTC board, you'll be surprised how different the answers will be that you get there!!! (considering the many posts here that say: "she's not your best friend anymore" -only *you* know if she was and is your best friend)

The pain of TTC  -only few ppl who are not in the situation can understand.  
My short advice is: Tell her personally, and tell her as soon as possible.  Don't make any assumptions ("I'd understand if you want to withdraw" ...etc.) 
Continue to share things with her, be gentle, and stay yourself.  She will feel sad for herself, but if she's your best friend, also happy for you, although she may not be able to show it the way you'd like or think or hope, esp not initially.
The worst thing one of my friends did when we were TTC our first for several years was not telling me that she was pregnant for almost 4 months - in the light of all the intimate things I shared with her during those months, I felt like such a fool somehow.  However, it all turned out well, as I just needed time, and she continued to share and involve me, and it helped.  Fast forward one year, and we finally got pregnant, and were soo happy and excited - I knew I wanted to tell one of my close friends right away, and she is TTC.  It was the worst; she started to sob and was inconsolable.  She did not go through what we went through, and she'd been TTC only a short time... so I had all kinds of emotions, but she came around as well...  I think if you do have a very strong friendship it can weather these difficult situations, even if it doesn't seem so at times.[/quote]

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