Reply to Why don't people reciprocate socially these days?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]OP here. Yes, this has definitely been an issue--being too eager. My DH actually pointed this out to me, the fact that I do try to make plans with people soon-ish. I know that comes across as too eager and it is a personal fault of mine.

It's just hard because I want to make friends so badly! Since DH pointed it out, I have toned things down--hasn't made a difference though. Why is too eager bad? How does the other person view it? Personally, I would be beyond thrilled if another gal invited me to do a bunch of things or asked me to do something right after we met for the first time. I'd be thrilled that someone was friendly and interested in making a new friend. But I know it is off-putting to most, though I don't understand why. Can someone shed some light into that?  [/quote]

I can think of a gazillion reasons.

You don't have much in common. e.g., phase in life, geographical area, sense of humor, affiliations, etc.

People are busy with work, family, life, socializing, etc.

They already have their established circle of friends and are not inclined to put any effort into making more.

People are guarded, and your over-eager attitude may come across as desperate. You'd be suprised, it's just like dating. Just because you had a great dinner together the first time, doesn't automatically mean you are best friends so you need to give people time to process. Anyone can say "oh I had a lovely time, we should do this again sometime", bleh, it's called being polite, they don't have to mean it.

Some people are really introverts and perfectly content with no friends or few friends so reciprocating an invitation is not something that naturally occurs to them to do. They will come and hang out if you invite them but they will never return the favor because, well, it's not in their nature.

I mean the list is endless. It's hard to make non-superficial and sustainable friends in DC. It takes a lot of effort. [/quote]

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