Reply to Would you stay with emotionally abusive spouse in this case?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, first of all, having young kids is depressing. You not necessarily mentally ill - you are depressed because of your circumstances. Second of all, leaving under these circumstances probably wouldn't be best for any of you. My sister is in similar circumstances and what I have told her - you will leave, eventually. For now, you are in a relatively safe spot. Emotional abuse is tough but as you may recall "sticks and stones break your bones but names will never hurt" - of course it hurts but as long as he isn't physical, you can rise above his emotional abuse.

In the meantime, get yourself sorted out. Wait out the pandemic, find a new job, save some money. Hibernate. Spend a lot of time with your kids because working and being a single mom is tough on you and on them - you won't have the luxury of spending lots of time just playing. Take care of yourself. Baby yourself just like you would do if one of your kids was hurt or sick. And treat your husband as if he is not your husband but any business relationship. If a coworker is rude, you try to ignore them, right? If they don't pull their weight, you do extra. You don't have to hurt him because you are just letting him support you until you are ready. Ready to leave him. [/quote]

It would be best for OP to leave.  Why would anyone recommend that you stay in a marriage with emotional abuse.  [/quote]

Because we're in the middle of a pandemic, unemployment is going through the roof, all the usual resources are unavailable. That's why.

If she can find a way to ignore him and focus on her kids for a few months that would be ideal. Stop talking about leaving. Get organized and wait until there's an actual opportunity to [b]leave on her terms[/b].

[/quote]

That's the key, OP. Every abusive word or action, just keep this in mind. Make it a mantra. "I will leave when it's on my terms, not his." He's controlled enough. He won't control when you leave and under what circumstances. You're strong. You were strong enough to post this, you've been strong to seek help, even if it's not forthcoming right now, from various agencies. But it will come.

What state are you in? Maybe we can give you additional resources?[/quote]

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