Reply to DH's new approach to avoid overreacting is to avoid parenting altogether

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "DH's new approach to avoid overreacting is to avoid parenting altogether "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH has a difficult time dealing with the stress and frustration that comes along with parenting. He is prone to overreacting and it upsets me and the kids. We had a talk about it this weekend and he promised to work on it and do better. Well, apparently "doing better" means to just avoid parenting altogether. He removes himself from the situation every time the kids are being the slightest bit annoying or frustrating. That means it's all left to me.

I told him this isn't a viable way for him to deal with the situation. He said he would rather remove himself from the situation than get frustrated and yell. DH put the kids to bed tonight. I went upstairs thinking they were in bed already. They weren't. They were playing in their rooms. DH was in his office with the door closed. I asked him why and he said they weren't listening so he removed himself from the situation.

I can't tell if this is a manipulative way to get out of the hard parts of parenting, or if he truly believes this is "doing better". I have suggested parenting classes, books, therapy and/or meds. He has rejected all of them. This is so frustrating. What are some other solutions to help deal with this?

Some background for context is that he was the one who really wanted kids. I was on the fence but agreed. I feel resentment that he was the one who wanted kids but isn't willing to put in the work to help himself. I can't change him--he has to want that for himself. [/quote]

If he avoids conversations, conflicts, and multi-tasking in other areas of life too, this sounds like my Aspie spouse.

He gets easily overwhelmed when home and only operates in two modes: Do nothing, or Angry.  The angry part comes up after he neglected fixing a situation (mess in kitchen, kids squabbling, forgot to make lunch, lost his keys/is late) and suddenly realizes there's a bigger mess so he overreacts and yells. The kids can't figure it out and just run off, we all call it the Raging Lunatic Attack. He doesn't listen to the kids stating what they want or need so they get all wound up so I have to constantly fix everything and everyone, 24/7. it's F'ing exhausting. And of course, he has nothing to ever say to me about anything other than he office work or what he needs (from groceries, from office demands).

OP, your husband needs a parenting class and communications course at a minimum. He many need a psychologist pr psychiatrist for the underlying condition Dx and anti-anxiety meds for the secondary condition.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics