Reply to VENT WARNING. Non-working parent not carrying their weight in quarantine

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Let me guess, you are a woman and the non working spouse a man?

Or, have you always been the primary parent and home handler?[/quote]

Thank you all for the validation without being rude.  In the pre-covid world DH works more than I do and so I do take on the primary parent and home handler role. Right now that's switched to DH working zero hours and my work is ramped up.  House handling and parenting feels harder simply because we are home 100% of the time.  There aren't school and dog walkers and housecleaners and playdates and all the rest of life to ease those burdens.  I partly needed perspective since my temper is so short and I don't want to explode if in fact I'm being unreasonable.  Social media doesn't help watching friends baking bread and taking family hikes when I barely get through the day.[/quote]

You’ve gotten lots of support by the ones that figured out quickly that it’s DH and you are a woman, but if you really want to solve things it’s worth considering what those same ones would be saying if it was as SAHM wanting a working spouse to pitch in. Watching kids can be a tiring task for anyone to do all day and even more so for someone who didn’t choose the role. It’s fine to expect him to carry a lot of the load but you should be figuring out what kind of breaks he needs and what you can do to provide them even if it’s just 5 min or eating lunch with the kids. Taking the situation as license to lock yourself in a room to work as PP suggested will backfire and have you locked in with someone harder to deal with. You both should be contributing but the solution should account for the abilities of each and the impact mentally on each. Sounds like he needs to step up but you need to adjust your expectations too of what the goal is. [/quote]

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