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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hello. My wife and I have been having an ongoing issue for many many years. (In my opinion) She is extremely sensitive to any cursing. I have always been trying to limit it, but she expects (demands) it to be completely zero, and I don't think that is possible in a relationship where two adults live together for 20 years and have arguments. She says that I am the crazy one and that in all other families nobody curses when they argue. So I want to know what the truth is.

The cursing that comes out of my mouth is just "f_ck" and various variations of it - e.g. this is "f_cking b_llshit". I'd say probably the worst that comes out is "oh f_ck off", but very rarely, if i had to guess maybe once a month or so. I definitely never say anything personally demeaning, along the lines of "b_tch" etc. Only what I personally consider "cursing out of general frustration", not "cursing at her". However, to her any curse word, like just using "f_ck" anywhere in the heat of argument, is "verbal abuse". So I want to know - how are the arguments in other real families? Do you guys and gals curse? Are the examples that I mention "verbal abuse", or is this just what happens during fights? Do people really not curse during fights AT ALL? If i'm the crazy one - I do want to know. I only ask that people don't pick sides, like "team husband" vs "team wife".   [/quote]

You've known her for more than 20 years. She's been sensitive to cursing for more than 20 years. She's been asking you to stop for MORE THAN 20 YEARS.

This isn't about whether it is "normal" or not. Or if "Nobody" or "Everybody" curses when they argue. You know it isn't that black & white. It doesn't matter what other families do. What matters is that it is affecting your wife, and you are not treating her discomfort with cursing with respect. Do you care more about cursing in anger than you do about cultivating a strong relationship with your wife? Maybe you do, and in that case, keep doing what you have been doing for the last 20 years: putting your cursing above her discomfort. But if you do actually respect your wife, and want to have a good relationship, work on curbing the cursing.[/quote]

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