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Reply to "Jealous of friends who will receive inheritances "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’d rather be a silver spooner who makes my own way. And I am. Don’t underestimate the value of a familial safety net- it’s huge. I didn’t do anything to earn mine but the only people who say they would NOT want to have financial security in the way of family money are consoling themselves into accepting what they can’t have anyway. Then they act like that’s a superior choice- the choice to not use money they didn’t have. It’s an interesting phenomenon. [/quote] I have a few friends (including a long-time romantic partner) who come from family wealth. On paper seem to 'make their own way' -- and I'm genuinely impressed with how they stay motivated to work despite having more than enough money not to (though often their parents/extended family also sort of make that an unspoken part of the 'bargain'). That said, very few really 'make their own way.' They can take more risks, when something doesn't work out they have a back up, they didn't have debt for undergrad or grad etc. They can do things like take off a month for grad school exams and get plum internships with ease. I don't begrudge it, but [b]they do each have a bit of this similar oblivious personal quality that I never see in other friends who lack this safety net. It's like the higher floor of safety also puts a ceiling on their personal growth/awareness.[/b] I don't think its inevitable, but it's common in my experience and they are oblivious to it. That said, if the choice would be to have family money but have this minor personality flaw, I'd definitely take the money. I don't think they notice this quality in themselves which is also an interesting phenomenon.[/quote] I've seen this too and a certain lack of resilience. My office mate in biglaw had his parents buy him a condo in NYC and otherwise gave him financial support but he just wasn't cut out for working the long hours biglaw requires and he was fired within a year. Nice guy, just wasn't willing to put in the hours and maybe he didn't need to due to family support. I have a co-worker now that also gets family money and, I wouldn't use the word "entitled" per se, but he has an expectation of a certain lifestyle that isn't supportable on his salary and he seems somewhat surprised he is unable to do all that he does without family support. Like, he just doesn't understand the value of money, it's kinda odd. I'm not sure I would make the trade but maybe that's because my needs are fairly simple and I really don't think family support or an inheritance would change anything. There's just nothing else I really want/need that I would use the money for.[/quote]
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