Reply to Confirmed covid case at parent's assisted living facility -- anything I should do to prepare?

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Reply to "Confirmed covid case at parent's assisted living facility -- anything I should do to prepare?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There is nothing you can do from a distance.

As to your question, "How to prepare?" all I can say is this:

Prepare by steeling yourself up emotionally, and fully understand that time with your father is limited.  Even without Covid.

Prepare by enjoying every minute you can speak to him on the phone.  Talk about things you may never have talked about before.  It need not be dire - talk about fond memories, funny moments, what his life was like as a child, what is the best advice he would tell his grandkids at 18, etc.

Find a way to tell him that whatever regrets he had in life he should know that he was a great dad.

Tell him he is loved.

Prepare by reminding yourself you are doing the best that you can under the circumstances.

As difficult as it is, prepare for the fact that your father may get sick and die, and you may not see him again or speak to him in his final days/hours.

Every day is a gift and every conversation is a connection.  Don't waste any of them. [/quote]

Thank you. This was really helpful.[/quote]

My mom is in a nursing home 800 miles away.  I'm already preparing myself emotionally.  I'm telling myself it's just a matter of when rather than if.  I don't know how there can be a foolproof way of not having the virus spread - shared staff, physical space, deliveries etc.  I'm also sad about that there most likely wouldn't be a funeral which I believe is a meaningful part of the grieving and healing process.

I was with my mom for her birthday before all of this happened.  She had a really great day - lots of visitors, flowers and calls.  Fortunately, she is a very spiritual person and isn't afraid of dying.  She expressed that she has lived a full life.  My father was the same when he chose hospice.  She is good right now about staying in the moment.  I know she wouldn't want extraordinary measures to keep her alive.  Hopefully, if the worst happens, they would sedate people to alleviate suffering.

We're all being tested right now about living with uncertainty and suffering.

Hope this is helpful.

Good luck.

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