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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are you over parenting? She’s an adult, and used to making her own choices now.[/quote]

Really?  Adults support themselves and do not move "home" with mommy and daddy.

She is not emotionally an adult yet. She is a big kid who has just had her first taste of independence in college, and loved it, of course. Who wouldn't?  And now she resents having to give it up for the greater good.

How do you think 18 and 19 year olds who got drafted into WW2 felt?[/quote]

I was in the military at 18. I was an adult, and I’d be resentful to be forced home and over parented.

[b]Cut the cord[/b].[/quote]

"Cut the cord"? What a blithely ignorant thing to say.

How exactly does OP do that? Send the DD to live in the backyard shed? Refuse to feed DD and expect her to order her own stuff online? Pretend DD isn't in the house at all? It's not like DD can just go back to college or go rent an apartment somewhere right now.

OP can try to let DD set her own schedule and not ask too many questions about whether classwork is getting done etc. And OP can try not to engage or respond to any ill-tempered, ungrateful comments. But DD is living under the same roof during a time when we are all being told not to go out, and "cut the cord" is a useless, nonsensical statement in that circumstance.

To OP:

So many people here are just grinding their own axes and not hearing your actual problem. My own freshman DC is home now for the rest of the semester. It is tough for us all because though we get along really well, and DC is not complaining outwardly, DC has gotten used to setting a schedule and following it, and with spouse now home working full-time here, it's crowded. DC loves college and misses it horribly and has classes that cannot be replicated reasonably online (think: totally dependent on class participation and group interactions). We are ALL navigating things that are totally different.

I agree with a PP who said please don't say to her that you wish she weren't home. It's fine to think it, OP! You are allowed your feelings and reactions, as is she. The key is not voicing them because they can be painful out loud. If your DD is maintaining a daily schedule of online classwork, that's a positive; encourage it. And just as we would do with young kids, find positive things to praise and point out. I know that advice will irritate the "They're adults!" DCUM crowd, but even adults need someone to point out what they're doing right sometimes, especially when those young adults feel out of control. And right now she surely feels she lacks control, [i]just[/i] as she was getting used to feeling some level of control over her day to day life, her friendships, her activities. That's been jerked away unexpectedly from all the college and high school students now at home.

Create some family activities and invite her -- don't order her -- to come on a walk, help you cook, be in charge of one meal (if she likes to cook, as my DC does), watch a movie in the evening that she gets to choose one night. And so on.

yes, she's being ungrateful right now, and unpleasant, and not seeing the bigger picture. It's tough and I know that from experience here. I'm having trouble at times stepping back inside my own house and remembering we're not back in high school days and those interactions and checking in  with DC. But I really hope you and your DD can improve things between you.[/quote]

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