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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am so happy at home. I have a very well paying job so it is hard to give up. But I am happier, my child is happier and calmer. I am so happy to be home and wondering if anyone else is contemplating quitting after this. [/quote]

OP here - my kid is 2.5 and I feel like I’ve missed the last 2.5 years. He’s so excited to have me home it feels sad - like he shouldn’t be so excited to have his mom :([/quote]

I think that maybe you're giving him a little extra attention and he likes that. Take this lesson with you when you go back to work! Carve out more "Just Mommy" time. [/quote]

That’s a good idea but I work really long hours and a few times a week I’m home 9/10 pm. And when I’m home I’m harried. I also travel a lot for work and I feel like it’s a constant battle to keep my head above water. I have a running list of things I want to do with him that never get done and I focus all my energy on play dates and classes on the weekends. But this has given both of us a time to breathe and just be with each other and not be so harried. I’ve started to think “quality time” is a cruel joke (for us). [/quote]

Op if this is you, I think you’ve more clearly identified what is probably making you both feel like this in this post, and I think it’s less working in general but your current situation. It sounds like your job is really intense and doesn’t leave much time for the downtime and connecting time together that you both really crave. I don’t think it’s as black and white as working or not working, another solution would be looking for a new position that gives you more flexibility, a regular 40 hour work week, if at all possible.i realize that is much easier said than done and don’t take that lightly.

I say this as another working mom but with a very 40-45 hr per week job and I feel like I get serious quality time in both the mornings and evenings with my child and actually have felt really validated by this time at home because I used to question if I was missing a lot, but this time while lovely and cherished, has helped me see that the time I really prioritize with my flexible schedule is giving me much of that quality time anyway - I’m ok missing a couple hours in the morning, lunch and naptime for the huge long term benefits for us all of working. So I feel like it may be your specific position that isn’t giving you what you need. I know that a new job is so much easier said than done, but just don’t throw the baby out the bath water :) I realize my privilege in being in a flexible position, but just want to provide perspective that it isn’t working in general necessarily.

The other thing I noticed is that you’re planning a lot of play dates and classes on the weekend. It seems like you’re realizing this but I truly think the go go pressure  that us parents feel is so hard on our kids and relationships in the end. I have a 2 year old as well and we pretty much do no play dates and definitely no classes - I plan to avoid them as long as possible. Of course we see friends sometimes but it’s not for the intent for my 2 year old to have a play date - he has daycare all week. Weekends are for slow mornings, connecting, long walks or hikes, eating out at fun spots as a family or with friends, walking up to the farmers market,  kicking balls in a field etc. Slowing down your weekends could give you much of the connection you’re feeling now so that you can find a better balance with work.

I hope you hear my tone of this as encouraging, because that’s truly how I mean it - you can do this. Just fight against the push to go go go. Kids don’t need soccer at 2 or even 4. They need to connect with their family and explore their world. The beauty of that is we all benefit - less stress for you because you can relax together and for your kid too. [/quote]

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