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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "guidance and tips for w staying w spouse after finding out about series of EAs and PAs"
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[quote=Anonymous]This is an unbelievable trauma and you will not get past it in the circumstances you describe. Having been where you are, I honestly can't believe you are attempting to have "intimate moments" except via dissociating (consciously or otherwise)--it's just too much. I was cheated on by a spouse hell-bent on satisfying a death drive. The bottom was just above the grave. It took a solid two years after absolutely every bit of extraneous marriage-undermining bullshit activity had stopped, plus therapy and a postnup, for me to be able to start having sex without the intrusive thoughts you are describing. Mine has extraordinary redeeming qualities as a partner for me. But when I was being put through that, it was emotional abuse, and you're being emotionally abused also. Unless your spouse is truly exceptional for you (not in the abstract--FOR YOU), get the hell out and don't look back. [/quote]
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