Reply to Has anyone had additional children specifically because their spouse wasn’t around much?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Have a third because you love being a mom not because you’d like another companion to fill in your day. [/quote]

+1.  And you are willing to accept whatever may come with the third child.  Kids aren't there to fill your emotional void or some fantasy future life that may not happen.[/quote]

Isn’t that exactly why people have kids? To create the fantasy life they envision? It’s certainly not for altruistic good of humanity reasons. Everyone purposely procreating is doing it for an inherent selfish reason to live some life they imagine[/quote]

It’s why some people have children and I think it’s a poor reason for having kids.  There’s a difference between the inherent selfishness of having kids and having them because of *your* fantasy of what life will be like with them and who they’ll be.  I love getting to know my kids for who they are and helping them grow into the best versions of themselves.  I’d love it if we have healthy relationships when they’re adults, but I’m betting that will come from appreciating them for who they are, not for who I want them to be.

I filled the emotional gaps for both my parents while I was a kid, and boy, did it suck.  It’s hard to have a decent relationship with them now because they still pull that crap, and I’m done with it (and busy raising my own three kids and enjoying DH).[/quote]

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