Reply to I told DW it’s time for her to return to work FT

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Tell her divorce, or she works. I am a female and I can not imagine not pulling my weight financially in a relationship. [/quote]

Be careful about issuing ultimatums you’re not willing to follow through on.

If you do this and don’t divorce, all that happened is that you damaged your relationship, you’re still agonizing over every financial decision and your wife won’t take you seriously. If you do divorce, I guarantee you will have significantly less money than you do right now. Whatever small savings you currently have will be depleted. Half of your retirement will be gone. Financially you will be worse off than you are today.

So, maybe instead of going down the ultimatum road, why not insist on marriage counseling?

You will probably have to let go of the idea of a 70K windfall from your wife’s hypothetical full time job. Your wife will probably have to find a better paying part time job or work longer hours. You will both have to give a little to avoid losing a lot. [/quote]

Post taxes, extra expenses related to work, someone picking up the slack at home, its not going to be close to $70K if she's only making 18K now.  Maybe $40-50, possibly $60 but she'll be taxed at his rate, minus social security and all that, so she'll bring home much much less.

I'd be fine with an ultimatum.  I'd get a job and while job searching I'd pack my husband's stuff and leave it at the door saying he wanted a divorce, here it is.  Hand him his stuff and paperwork and he can have the kids every other weekend and one night a week.[/quote]

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