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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]^I was thinking something similar. Haven’t found it hard to close to my preteen or teen boys — with many of the strategies above including shared interests, always being willing to listen even when they conveniently seek me out at midnight etc.

What I haven’t figured out though is how to impart that their family of origin is also important and it will be on THEM to make efforts with our side. In every relationship I’ve seen - DH, my parents, brothers, cousins — once they’re married, that’s it, it is all about the wife’s side of the family and seeing the husbands side is just an obligation — even if everyone gets along. Part of this is it’s always DILs making plans so if course when time is limited, they choose their sides; I don’t fault them. I fault the sons who otherwise were close to their parents/siblings and were good sons for shrugging and going along whether due to laziness, not wanting to piss off their wives, their kids always wanting their maternal grandparents bc they simply know them more bc they’re not excluded as often as paternal are etc. But it’s a tale as old as time — a sons a son until he takes a wife.[/quote]

This. You already sound like you’re going to be a terrible MIL, because of your attitude. You should work on developing a positive relationship with DIL and being the most helpful and kind person around so she *wants* to spend time with you.[/quote]

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