Reply to Friend in town for four months- hasn’t made plans- cut off?

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[quote=Anonymous]You strike me as a bit predatory, op. Even if you got your friend this job, you don’t own her.  She isn’t entitled to spend any time with you at all.  It might be nice if she did, but it isn’t a requirement.   It’s attitudes like yours that drove the distaste in fund-raising for the local sick kid, the local disabled kid, the local foster kid, basically anybody where a person would have continued contact with someone society deems as disadvantaged, because the people who do the helping feel entitled to another person’s time, energy and talent because you “gave them something”.

You also know that her job assignment is temporary, she is parenting solo, and she is separated from her husband.  Even if you say “they aren’t separated!” they are.  A physical separation can lead to an emotional separation leaving both members of the couple to wonder if it was really worth it.

As for you, your experience doesn’t matter.  Military spouses get treatment that civilians do not.  Society looks kindly on a military spouse who is away, it looks very differently on spouses who are geographically separated.  The attitude of “I’d never let my wife set up house alone” or “what the heck is wrong with a man who would let his wife move overseas with his kids” is very real.

Also, you probably tapped into the military support system more then you realize.  Military spouses never admit this unless you directly ask them, and even then they down play it.  Also, you have one child, parenting two is very different.  One kid is like a glorified pet, two is two children, one wants to go play outside but is too young to do it unsupervised, the other is melting down because they are hungry.  One wants to cuddle in bed because you both have been up half the night, the other is asking you all kinds of questions about when the world will end, and they mean it literally.

If you care about your friend at all, leave her alone. She knows where to find you.  If you want to own her, keep on being obnoxious.  [/quote]

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