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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Man here, my wife says the same thing about me, although not so much the disrespect part but more that I don't listen and don't understand her on a deep level.  That I am too superficial and wouldn't care if she left.  It's heartbreaking to hear, it's not true of course but it puts a huge hole in our relationship and our intimate life is horrible and has been for years.  I check a lot of boxes on paper for sure, but if she doesn't feel loved it's hard to turn that around.

My recommendation is to try therapy before it's too late which it probably is for us although we are trying to stay together for the kids.[/quote]

One other thought - someone wrote a very good reply in another thread about blaming a spouse for being unhappy.  Could that be your situation?  My wife is very unhappy where she is professionally and doesn't have a lot of friends and I do think she takes her position out on me.[/quote]

OP here. You sound a bit like my husband. On paper he's this great guy, and I'm not saying he isn't a great guy. I just don't feel loved and I feel so alone. I don't think I blame my DH for being unhappy in other areas of life, but that's definitely something to consider. [/quote]

You don’t feel that he is loving towards you, but are you loving towards him?  You can’t make someone love you or be loving towards you.  A better approach is to be loving towards them and in time, they will return the favor.  And if not, then you can think about whether the relationship is salvageable.

Things only improved in my marriage when I stopped critiquing DH’s weaknesses and just accepted him.  In time he began to work on the things that were bothering me on his own because he felt loved and accepted.  You can only improve if you feel secure, loved, and accepted.[/quote]

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