Reply to Please tell me I’m doing the right thing

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a guy I agree your doing the right thing for both yourself and child. My big question is why in the world you married him in the first place let alone had a child. His past untreated mental health issues should have been a pair of waving red flags. [/quote]

Please, let’s not blame the victim of domestic violence for the domestic violence, OK?  The entire reason people get into DV situations is the the abuser is nice in the beginning and the abuse escalates over time with intermittent good periods and apologies and promises of reform.  OP should be applauded for recognizing the abuse and recognizing she has to leave.

OP, I agree with others that it is best to leave before you child has any memory of the abuse.  As you can see, both emotional or physical abuse leave serious long term affects. Get out now, get as much physical and legal custody as you can.

The truth is that having a child sometimes triggers a mental health breakdown or worsens abuse or alcoholism.  In your case, your DH’s history of familial abuse is probably affecting him more prominently now that he is a father.

FWIW, while you aren’t responsible for the abuse, you really need to better manage your emotions. Frequent fighting and throwing things (even pillows) isn’t healthy communication.  Please see a therapist who specializes in DV - you and your baby will need the support.

Good for you for recognizing this is wrong and gettting out!![/quote]

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