Reply to Why don't you pay mom?

Forum Index » Parenting -- Special Concerns

Reply to "Why don't you pay mom?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m a nanny and worked for a family like this through their divorce. Dad felt that mom was wasting his money and wouldn’t pay because he believed it was all unnecessary.

Doctor bills: mom preferred a more expensive holistic doctor to treat the kid’s chronic asthma, so dad refused to pay.  Dad did not seek alternatives that were less expensive, did not make any appointments or manage any treatments, and in fact did not even give them meds during overnights, leading to at least one asthma attack.

The kid was diagnosed with autism.  Dad didn’t believe that autism is real, so he refused to pay for any therapy, tutoring, medication, etc.

Dad didn’t care about extracurriculars so he didn’t pay for them.[/quote]

Not parents were neglectful.  Mom should have taken child to a regular doctor.  It doesn't sound like child had real medications and you cannot blame Dad for not giving holistic medications.  Dad may have not been allowed to do the appointments or anything else per the court order.  If Dad only had 1 over night a week there may not have been time.  The real issue is why didn't you take the child to the doctor appointments and schedule them as needed if you were caring for the child.

If mom got child support, most of that should be included.[/quote]

The holistic doctor prescribed real meds.  She just also suggested things like supplements that dad disagreed with, which is fine, but again he had the time and the legal right to seek other medical care but his preferred plan was for his child to not need anything so he just refused to acknowledge any needs.  Dad was entitled to 3 nights per week, he just never actually took them.  Week after week he canceled time with his kid or just no-showed.  As for it being my responsibility to seek a cheaper doctor for the children, a) it’s not my money and b) I have no legal right to disagree with mom.  Dad disapproved of her chosen course of action, did nothing to find alternatives and refused to contribute even a nominal amount to the kid’s doctor bills.[/quote]

Cheaper doctor - no, you take the child to the doctor that takes the insurance.  Dad was probably not allowed to seek other options as he was not the custodial parent and only had visitation.  If Dad paid child support, he was contributing.  Mom had custody so she was neglectful.  Dad should not have to give fake medicine to a child if he is not comfortable.  Mom clearly had enough money if she could afford housing, car, and nanny and pay out of pocket for holistic medicine.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics