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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks for all the replies. I do think he's not that bad of a husband/father at all and I do see him taking on more responsibilities over time. I do agree I probably need to back off and not make this a much bigger deal than it should be for the well being of the family. He does take on tasks like cooking, grocery shopping, laundry, all home maintenance, all yardwork, etc so that I can focus on taking care of DD. He mentioned to me that he feels that it's much more my strength. [b]And I also admit that when he does step in to help, I get annoyed that he's not doing things the way I would want it done, so I do need to lower my expectations as well[/b].[/quote]

Good grief he does the cooking, grocery shopping and laundry?  Seriously, every single week for weeks and months and years?  Not just after you nag him to death?  Then that is a LOT.

Now, you need to start having him responsible for her for several hours at a time.  As in, starting to go to the gym, or taking a class, or whatever  every Saturday morning from 9-12.  He will then start to develop his OWN relationship with her that is outside of you being there, judging, staring, etc.  Believe me, a 21/2 year old isn't going to just fend for herself while he plays on is phone. He'll have to interact with her IN HIS OWN WAY - take her to the park, play with her, do painting or playdough if that's his thing, whatever. He needs to figure it out, and he will.  You could talk about it - you know what, you're right. When you are with her I'm always there, and it will feel like judging.  I'll start doing the grocery shopping on Saturday mornings and you hang with DD.  Or we'll take turns doing the grocery shopping on Saturday mornings and the other one will be with DD.  Start slow, every other, and then that can grow into more.  OR - he thinks and creates a very special Saturday (or Sunday) morning ritual and routine.  He and DD get up and "let Mommy sleep" and they go to the coffee shop for breakfat, then the playground - make it something only he and DD do together that he can make his OWN - not trying to do it "like you would"[/quote]

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