Reply to Does joint custody work?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Believe me, parents in joint custody situations ARE making sacrifices. I would LOVE to never deal with my ex again, have to consult with him on anything. But, being a good parent is a job I signed up for, including encouraging good parenting behavior in a person I'm no longer married to, so I pull up my big girl panties and deal.

I've never understood how people think joint custody is somehow taking the easy way out. It takes serious balls and hard work. [/quote]

That's not really what I meant.  I didn't think joint custody was easy for parents but, frankly, these are your mistakes and your husband's mistakes that the kids are paying for.  Yet they are the ones who are split in two-  not you.  A PP suggested letting the kids live in one home and the parents would be the ones who have to split themselves in two by living with the kids part of the time and in an apartment on the other days.  This has worked for some people but no very few people seem to consider this solution.  I think it's because it seems so awful to have to live in two homes.  And trust me, it is awful.  That's why I don't think kids should have to do it.  [/quote]

OK, I get that. Thanks for responding. I know of a couple of folks who have tried the above, and if it works, great. Makes a lot of sense. But, it's not for everybody. Especially if there are factors in the split that make sharing a living space with the other parent impossible (boundary issues, etc.). If I were doing this with a different person I would have  considered it seriously.

Trust me, my son is so much better off with his folks divorced, but I didn't have a crystal ball when I got married, and hey, if I'd dodged that error, he wouldn't be here. Emotional trauma is for everybody. Why should grownups hog it all? ...kidding.[/quote]

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