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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH's father walked out when he was a teen to take up with a woman across the country and relinquished custodial rights.
DH saw him on vacations, et cetera, and basically his dad went from normal to a total deadbeat. Didn't pay child support. Mom could have taken him to jail but out of the kindness of her heart never did.
He is now living closer by again and has health issues. DH's sister refuses to speak to him due to all their baggage. DH sees him every now and then, talks on the phone to him, he will occasionally send our kids a card with some money. He is married for the third time to a woman with issues. She thought she was marrying into a happy family - ha! They asked all of his three children to pay for his wedding. We all refused.

She sent me a weird message last week about how depressed he is. Not sure how reliable she is. Well today he called DH while he was doing daycare pickup and asked for $500 to fix his car. I guess because the car is busted his wife can't go to work and they now have no money again.

DH came to me sheepishly asking if we could give his dad the money. My blood is boiling. This is a man who has done nothing for DH since he was 16.
I said no. Now DH is shouting at me saying I don't understand the position I'm putting him in. (Me! Not his deadbeat dad!) DH has never stepped in to talk to his dad about his health or life but is OK handing him over money (doesn't need to confront him). I think his dad made his bed and this sets a horrible precedent. But now I feel terrible that DH is upset. WWYD? Fork over money to deadbeat dad? Ugh ugh ugh.[/quote]

I don't care if you can afford it or not, absolutely no way in hell should you give that deadbeat sperm-donor one red cent!  Your DH feels guilty because he's his son, and because your DH is a good man. Subconsciously your DH is right back where he was when he was a kid, hoping his dad would one day show up at the front door, and start acting like a father.  There's some unresolved childhood feelings there that make him even want to consider doing this.

Anyhow, NO. don't do it. [/quote]

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