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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents have been talking about downsizing for 15 years. It would've been great if they did it before health issues and maintenance issues starting coming into play. But they didn't do anything because, I found out recently, they disagreed on where to go (mom, closer to me; dad, where they wanted to retire to 20+ years ago). I've tried to help them over the years (pay for an organizing/downsizing consultant, find senior living communities near me and near them, looking for places for them to donate items) but very little has changed in years. I've finally realized that nothing will change unless I "go nuclear": in which I do everything myself, from selling the house to getting rid of the stuff to moving them into a new place. [b]And I do not have the bandwidth to take that on at this time[/b]. So the only advice I can offer is to accept how things are and be mentally/financially prepared to "save the day" at some point. [/quote]

It's really wonderful that you're so in tune with your inner voice and you have an innate sense of self.  These factors played a vital role in you recognizing that your mental capacity (your bandwidth) may not be in the most sound place right now, especially to take on a roll such as Superhero to your parents.

Although, I think a lot of women chose to ignore their inner voice,  because it's inconvenient.

It's obvious that you love your parents, and I wish  you had a magic wand to wave so that everything could be taken care of for them instantly, and there would be no need for you to stress.

ALWAYS take care of yourself first PP, and then you'll be much better equipped to help out your parents.

It's just like on an airplane...
The flight attendant always instructs the adults to put on their own oxygen mask first and THEN they can help their children with theirs.

Putting on my mask before I help my children is such an unnatural feeling, isn't it?   :lol:

That's because the majority of women are hard wired to place the welfare of our loved ones before anyone else... even ourselves! 
It comes from hundreds of years of being placed in this role by someone else (usually old white men, lol).

So it's totally understandable why you would feel such a strong desire to "go nuclear" and get everything done yourself (it's usually easier that way, isn't it?  Too many cooks in the kitchen and all?).

Do what you can to assist your parents PP,  but ALWAYS remember to put your oxygen mask on first.

Self care is your priority, one day at a time.

Repeat this to yourself every day:

"[i]God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference[/i]."

[/quote]

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