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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH and I have been seeing a couples therapist for a few months.  Our biggest issue is that DH gets angry, curses at me, and calls me names.  In our last session, I told the therapist that this week DH called me a loser in the middle of a disagreement.  The therapist said that he is allowed to get angry and think those things in his head, just don’t say them out loud.

After the session I felt worse than before.  If my husband thinks that about me, but just grits his teeth and holds it in, is that really better?  Do you agree or disagree with the therapist’s advice?[/quote]

Sounds fair.  Though eventually he should change the inner monologue to something happier or more positive.

What are you both arguing about exactly? Is one person constantly dropping the ball and being and idiot- then getting angry at being an idiot?!?

Arguing with an idiot is frustrating. The idiot likes to be name called because the. S/he can shift the focus to being a victim of name calling instead of the original F up issue.  That chronic goal of escalating and aggravating the other person to avoid resolving the conflict is truly idiotic. If you do that to him or he does that to do, just stop and leave. Psycho-Villegas’s.[/quote]

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