Reply to Tell me I’m not the only one who’s husband is this infuriating

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband only remembers to take out the trash and recycling maybe 60% of the time and when he forgets he likes to say it’s because I forgot to remind him (I think he’s partly joking but partly not). Meanwhile, other than taking care of himself he literally doesn’t have to remember anything else. I’m the one who has to remember who needs school lunches on what day, who’s library book/homework/anything is due on what day, who needs money for the book fair etc. We both work full time so it’s not like I’m the stay at home parent but it is what it is. Meanwhile, tonight my husband was walking by and I reminded him recycling goes out tonight and he replied “I know!” in a very annoyed tone. I basically told him he doesn’t get to be annoyed with my reminding him if he’s also going to blame me when he doesn’t remember and his response is that he can be annoyed when I remind him when he’s in the middle of doing something else. I know this is a little thing but I’m seriously annoyed by this. He can’t have it both ways. [/quote]

1) If you want to deal with the overall balance of tasks, deal with it directly and not by trash/recycling proxy.  
2) In this kind of situation I would say “when you forgot to take out the trash and said “you didn’t remind me” I thought that meant that you want me to remind you.  Do you want me to remind you?  If he says the thing about “not when I’m in the middle of something” say, well, I can remind you when I think of you or not remind you at all, but I’m not going to wait around until it seems like you’re doing nothing to remind you.  So do you want reminders or not?  If he says no, then no reminders.  If he forgets and again says “you didn’t remind me” then you say - look, it bothers me when you say I didn’t remind you but you also said you don’t actually want reminders.  Can you just not do that?

Personally, if he’s said he doesn’t want reminders and then still says “you didn’t remind me” he’s either joking (in a way that may annoy you, but still it’s a joke) or he’s purposefully needling you to upset you, which is a bigger relationship issue.[/quote]

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