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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have no idea why you feel the need to label this. Almost everyone 'trickle truths' when they first start dating or talking. They tell you something, see how you react, then tell you more as time goes on.

You do the same when you meet a new friend or potential partner. You don't air all your dirty laundry, every trauma you have experienced and every bad decision you have made at the first meeting.

It is a normal way to get to know someone. Once you know them well then it is problematic but it still happens. A woman might spend $3000 online shopping but initially tell her husband I just bought a couple things I needed and then later say she spent a little more than she had thought and eventually she may come clean. [/quote]

But the response wasn't just "I wasn't comfortable disclosing all the details at the beginning".

It's also "I told you something in confidence and now you're using it against me" where he accuses the person who points out the lie and feels he's the victim and is being wronged.

There's no acknowledgement or apology for the lie and no validation for how someone might feel if they realize they've been lied to about a detail that isn't trivial (it isn't about how much money was spent).

[/quote]
I think it’s just being defensive. Also, people, consciously or not, believe a good defense is to go on the offense. I agree with other posters that giving it a name is not particularly important.[/quote]

One on hand, labeling the behavior is not as important as avoiding entanglements with dishonest people. On the other hand, having a word for what he did may help op to recognize it in the future and not be pulled in. I'm of the first mind: op needs to exercise better judgement in the first place. A person who cheats can't be trusted.[/quote]

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