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[quote=Anonymous]We were in marriage counseling very early on in our marriage. Our counselor told us that couples counseling really is most effective when the primary issues relate to communication. I found that individual counseling - we both went - was much, much more helpful for helping us each clarify what we wanted as individuals and from our marriage.

If you want an unorthodox opinion, I'd suggest you take your spouse at their word that they may be doing more in the marriage and you may have been the controlling partner, even if that was unintended. There's recently been a book published that has helped many other couples who are struggling with this same issue. (It's extremely common.) The book is called Fair Play and it includes exercises to help spouses surface the distribution of work issues. You may be surprised at what is actually happening in your marriage.

The other thing I would recommend is that you start developing shared interest, ASAP. Even if you go along with your spouse in their interests for awhile, that's fine. You do need to rebuild the shared part of your marriage.

Good luck.

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