Reply to Are most married couples unhappily married?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As others said, you have to work at maintaining that connection. Without the work, it will fade with everyone, even if you divorce and fall madly in love again. Cliche as it is, loving someone is a choice and an action, not a feeling.  [/quote]

Op here. DH put a lot of effort into pursuing me when we were dating. I fell for his effort. 15 years later, there isn’t much effort from both sides.

I have been working out a lot and I’m the most fit I have ever been so DH is attracted to me still.[/quote]

Working out and staying attractive isn't what I'm talking about. I'm talking about ways to maintain your connection. Date nights. Little surprises. Making your significant other feelings special. You say your husband doesn't do these things for you any longer, but do you put in the effort for him to make him feel special besides showing up and looking pretty? He can't possibly chase you for 15 years straight. I've been with my husband for nearly as long as you have been with yours, we have small kids and demanding jobs, and passion definitely ebbs and flows. Help him out! Break out the lingerie. Plan a fun date night. Slip a favorite treat into his suitcase. Make him feel special and he just may begin to reciprocate in kind. It works for us when we need a little kick-start. Divorce may bring a new passion into your life but that will fade with time too.

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