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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I came back from Christmas with ILs feeling incredibly overwhelmed. We made the mistake of telling family at 8 weeks after ultrasound because during Christmas all I got was discussion left and right about the baby even though psychologically I’m trying to maintain some distance in case we don’t make it to second trimester. And then since my SIL has a 10 month old I keep getting advice on which stroller to buy and what to do about bottle. How hard it is going to be. How I won’t sleep. It was constant and now I’m freaking out. Ive been focused on just lining up daycare waiting list and that’s the most I can stomach right now. I’m not ready for these other things yet. I’ve never felt so conflicted in my life. On one hand, I’m terrified of not making it to the second trimester and on the other hand, I’m so scared of having a baby now and all the stress that is awaiting me that I think I’ve made a terrible mistake and just want to not go through with this. I was up all night worried that this planned baby was a huge mistake.

Please tell me that others have felt this way.[/quote]

Your SIL is knee-deep in one of the hardest phases of parenting, and everything she said is probably true for her, right now. But she's not you, and you have a long time and a lot of road before you get to where she is now, at which point she will be at a different place as well and may have different ideas about things.

You are doing the right things by taking care of yourself and lining up daycare. You don't need to be worrying about stress in the future right now. There will be plenty of time for you to worry about it later.

When I found out I was pregnant with my first baby, despite her being planned and wanted, I was absolutely terrified and had about a week of feeling like it was a big mistake. I was 8 weeks pregnant during the 2016 presidential election, which hit really hard for both DH and me, and I spent that whole week being certain that it was a mistake to get pregnant again. Those feelings were completely legitimate, but they also passed. I do not regret either of my children and it was not a mistake to have them. There are many things about having two kids that feel overwhelming when they are happening. They are 6 and 2, so they are basically little lunatics all the time. Yesterday was particularly bad. But you know what? At 7:30, when they were both in bed, DH and I kind of just collapsed on the couch laughing about it. Then when everyone woke up this morning, they were sweetness and light. It is like that a lot of times - just when you feel completely tapped out, something lovely happens and you're like, OH RIGHT THAT IS WHY I LIKE THIS.

Hang in there. Take care of yourself. It'll be okay.[/quote]

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