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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.  I'll try to shed a little more light on the situation.

No, I'm not a SAHM.  I work full-time; we live at the end of a metro line and work downtown, so long commutes for us.

I realize I worded things that made it sound like I birthed our first child, but I was trying to not give away too much identifying info due to friends who also read here.  So people don't attribute this issue to something that's not correct, I might as well set the record straight (and if I give myself away to my friends, well, now you all know!).  We actually adopted our first child as an older infant; when she was home for 3 months, I got pregnant. So while my children are close in age, they're 2 years apart, not 1.  Part of what has been very hard for us as parents was that we were going through stages that were brand new to us with our 2nd child. Because our first child was almost 1 when we got her, we had no experience with newborns and I think that really hindered us when one year later, we were dealing with a toddler and a newborn, and had no idea what to do with either, if that makes sense.  So I wasn't dealing with 2 births within a year- no major demands on my body other than the pumping.  The adoption, unexpected pregnancy, and exclusive pumping all combine to make a very unique situation so I'm sure I've outed myself to my friends.

Yes, we still have sex, but not often, and DH almost always initiates.  It's still painful, but getting much better. Thanks for the suggestion of a physical therapist, PP. I had a very easy delivery (though I did have a 2nd degree tear), but who knows what really happened down there. As it is, I have an OB appt today and I will bring up this issue again.

When the 2nd child was born, the first one was VERY jealous (and still is).  And the 2nd one is now getting jealous in return, so I have two clingy whiny kids hanging on me a lot.  We keep reminding ourselves these are the hard years and that it will all get better at some point.  DH and I did have a day to ourselves recently and we had a fun day- we had nice sex (no cringing), a nap after, a lunch where we didn't have to pack a diaper bag and worry about what the kids would eat, etc. It was nice to reconnect.[/quote]

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