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[quote=Anonymous]My brother eventually got full custody but it took almost a decade, multiple trips to court, a ton of $, and a decade of damage to his kids before the court would make a change.

Officially during that decade his wife had full custody as that was what she was given back at the time of the divorce even though he was the primary parent. She pulled a lot of really dirty stuff at the time. Unofficially once the divorce and initial custody was done, he still had them most of the time because she didn't actual want custody, she wanted the child support payments and she was too proud to let go of custody due to what people would think of her as a women who didn't have custody.

The only reason he was able to eventually get it changed was because the kids had gotten old enough to be very vocal about where they wanted to live and who they wanted making decisions about their lives. They were frequently refusing to even go their mother's house. he knew he could get in a ton of trouble as he didn't have custody.

It was a brutal battle for all of them. The court did those kids a massive disservice by keeping them with their mother, only because she was female, when their father was by far the only caring, competent parent they had. They have a ton of trauma and psychological damage from everything that happened.

Once my brother got full custody, he was able to get the kids into therapy and in time he worked hard to get them to reestablish a relationship with their mother. it was supervised for awhile and then as they got older, they led the contact. They are now adults and they have a decent relationship with her. [/quote]

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