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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]You can't just "back date" the separation.  
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You will be required to swear under oath that you have lived "separate and apart" for 12 mos.  (that means no sex).

If you are making plans to lie about that, you are comtemplating perjury.

You CAN live separate and apart in the same house if you cannot afford separate dwellings and you do your own cooking and chores.... basically one person lives in the basement and you have separate lives.

You are right to be concerned about the parenting and the 50/50 custody.  So many times the dad wants 50/50 so he can avoid paying child support.  From what you have described, he hasn't been parenting much and doesn't have the desire to.  Mostly has the desire not to pay child support.  Those are two different things.  I'd be very careful about agreeing to 50/50 custody.  You didn't say how old your kids are, but younger kids need a more patient parents -- not saying he would abuse them -- but it happens when people who aren't equipped to parent kids full time don't understand the correct expectations for younger kids.  And military folks are more likely to have "do it b/c I say so" parenting skills.  It can be a recipe for disaster.  Better to have shorter visits and see how he manages.

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FWIW I think a lot of people do and honestly the courts don't have the resources or the inclination to investigate it.  Doesn't make it right, but I think it happens more often than you think just so people can expedite the divorce.[/quote]

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